What is my New Year’s Resolution? To keep a New Year’s Resolution!
See, when the New Year hit, I created a long list of New Year Resolutions that I was pretty positive I was going to achieve. This year’s list was probably the longest one that I have ever made. There are many reasons as to why I got writer’s cramp from writing down my resolution’s list. I set my requirements for this year way too high.
Every year, I always tell myself, “This year is the year for positive change! This year I’ll follow through with all the resolutions that I have!” Then comes summer and not one resolution was followed through with. Then I hate myself, go down a sad little spiral and instead of starting the resolution late, I just get mad at myself as I envision what my new body would look like if I just followed through with it. It’s a damn mind game that is way to exhausting, yet I manage to play that game each and every year. So, this year is going to be different!
Last year was an incredibly hard year. It was such a hard year that enjoying the rare good times was almost impossible for me to do. I just knew that more drama was lurking around the corner and instead of enjoying the good, I was bracing myself for the bad. With the loss of friendships, taking the knives out of my back and wiping my tears away daily, I was pretty much done with 2018 in March. Because of all of that, bringing myself to better anything was simply not happening. I didn’t think I deserved any of it because of the foul words and actions being said and done by some people. I allowed that crap in my head and to make my head it’s home. I allowed the evil all the power.
This year, I am done with the crap! My New Year’s Resolutions list is more practical for me to follow because they are all things dear to me, not what society dictates as good enough.
We all have been there. Eating pizza, drinking that yummy booze drink and watching the dust cuddle up on our work out equipment. It’s at that moment when we decide that once the New Year hits, we will transform our bodies. Diet, workouts, a ton of water and much needed rest is what is going to occupy our days in our near future.
In other cases, we are going to clean our house and organize EVERYTHING. We are going to get rid of all the crap and pretend that our organizing skills are in full effect. The truth is, we are making room for more crap that we are going to buy this year. Some of us, not me, will actually follow through with cleaning or organizing our homes. I tend to clean my house, throw away all the crap, sneak the sentimental things into a box and shove the box into my closet so my husband can’t see it and then I find myself wondering what is taking so long for this house to be organized.
Also, some of us want to be better with money. Less spending and more saving. Whether it’s for that amazing vacation that you’ve been planning for years, the perfect wedding that you’ve been dreaming of since you were a little girl, that car that you’ve been wanting since you could drive, that new wardrobe that you can finally afford, the cushion for a rainy day or that savings account that you have worked so hard to fill. It seems like in order to financially afford life, your job must pay up the a** or your savings must be as full as your spending habits.
Friends and family! More time with the ones we care about and less time staring at the TV, phones and tablets. We all get so carried away with what’s going on with everyone else, that we forget what’s right in front of us. Yes, I can, at times, be that kind of Mom that uses cartoons to entertain my kids, so I can get the dishes done, the laundry done, the floors swept and mopped, the bathrooms scrubbed and the house dusted. And the rare moments when I want 2 minutes to myself to stop pulling out my hair and find my marbles that I lost just hours prior.
I even find myself zoned out to the TV, my phone or my laptop that I do all my writing on. This year, I am setting aside some time every day for my writing to you guys, my lyrics, and my books, but that’s it. I want to make more of an effort to be with my family. Whether its play games with my kids, cooking my hubby or at home family movie nights. Building memories with my family means a lot more than reading the recent gossip.
Traveling! I love to travel, but I end up missing my kids so much that any trip with out them seems miserable. Traveling is a huge desire for many. Whether it’s to the nearest coast or across the world, we all have that want to hop on a plane or a cruise liner and soar to our dream destination.
Not giving a damn! So many of us spend so much time focusing on and worrying about what people think about us. Do I look to fat? Am I good enough? What do they say about me behind my back? Are they true friends? Are they fake? Do they think I’m dumb? Do they think I’m lame? Do they think I’m good looking? Do they think I’m worth it? All of those and so many more worries try to find permanent homes in our ways of thinking. I’ll be honest with you guys. I have a really hard time with this. I tend to let past demons make their mark again and I make all that I am get lost into what everyone else says or thinks. Before I know it, I’m lost. I’m faded to the point of disappearing and I can’t seem to find my way back home. And I’m sick of it. Seriously, why should we give anyone that power? They don’t deserve it.
My New Year’s Resolution this year is a combination of pretty much all of them. I want to be the best version of myself. The best wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend and co-worker. With that, I need to make some changes. I need to dedicate my time to what matters most, I need to invest my money in what is logical, I need to focus my energy on what is positive, I need to let go of what I can’t control and I need to follow my dreams for me and me only. This blog has been renting a spot in my laptop for a couple months now. Not because I didn’t want to share my thoughts with you, but because how am I supposed to preach all of this to you, when I am avoiding it all myself?
As I sit here, I want to fight for everything and everyone I want. I am willing to give my all to come out on top. So, by doing so, I am going to do what I have never done before. Actually follow through with not only one New Year’s Resolution, but all of them. This year is different. And I can’t wait to concur it all with you guys.
Let’s put our phone down at dinner time, put our credit cards away and pay bills, follow our hearts, tackle our biggest threats and embrace the best year to come. No matter how hard our New Year’s Resolution is, there’s nothing that was can’t do. Whatever our goals are, our dreams are or our fears that we are scared to overcome, we can do it all. No task is too big. Realize your strengths and smile as you succeed it all.
We are not alone. We got this, together.
Leave a Reply