This morning was a rough one for me because it’s the last day of school today. Watching my son, Noah walk into school for the last time as a 2nd grader was hard. In a matter of a couple months, Noah will be a 3rd grader and my daughter, Ellie will be in kindergarten. It all just came over me. New teachers, new friends, new routines, and new memories were just a few of the thoughts running through my head.
I gave Noah kisses and hugs, told him to have a great last day of school and that I loved him. As I walked away from him and watched him stand in line with his friends and classmates, laughing and being so happy that it was soon summer, I told him that I’ll see him after school. That’s when it hit me. In a few hours, I will be picking up my boy and not having to return to school until the next school year. I literally started to tear up when Noah’s teacher came outside to get her students and all the kids, including Noah, ran to her and hugged her. She began to cry and that made me lose it.
I stood there watching Noah walk into school with his teacher and classmates until I couldn’t see him anymore. I stood there on the playground and looked around to all the other parents that were watching their kids go into school too and I wondered, do days like this get any easier? The older my kids get, the more independent they get and the more they grow into the person they are meant to be, does it get any easier to say goodbye to one school year and welcome in another?
As I was walking to my truck with Ellie, I couldn’t help, but think that I am just a mess of a mom and all the other moms out there are sane. The only thing that they are struggling with is how to keep their kids occupied for the summer. I immediately started to compare myself to all the other moms that I know and the moms at Noah’s school.
It’s so easy to doubt yourself as a mom. I know I do. Did I do a good enough job during the school year with helping Noah with his homework? Did I teach him well? Did I allow him to play video games too much instead of doing more learning on the weekends? Is my son behind all the other kids and is it my fault if he is? Did he get made fun of at school because I didn’t dress him cool enough? Doubts on top of more doubts consume my mind often when it comes to being a mom. I want the most incredible life for my kids. I want them to always be happy, healthy and safe. I know that all starts with me and I just don’t want to fail. I know all us moms have flaws and corks that make us the moms we are. I know there is no such thing as the perfect mom so why is it so easy to compare and doubt myself?
While driving home from dropping off Noah, I looked in my rear-view mirror at my daughter. She was sitting in her car seat, laughing and talking. She was so happy. Then I remembered Noah laughing and talking with his friends before his teacher walked them to class. It was then that I felt like I was doing a good job as a mom. My kids and I have had our ups and downs. There are days that are harder then others, but those hard moments also remind my kids just how much I really do love them and how I will always be there for them. Through thick and thin.
Seeing my kids happy this morning, waving at me and holding my hands just confirmed that whatever I am doing, I must be doing it right. My kids know that I love them through whatever the days bring. They know that they will never be alone. I will always be there for them to help guide them and set them free to soar into the dreams that they want to concur. They know that my door is always open, my shoulder is always there to cry on and I am always going to put them first. Those factors are much more important to me than making sure I have the newest car, the biggest house or the fattest wallet.
When it comes to being a mom, we all have the moments that are consumed with us pulling our hair out and reaching for the nearest cocktail. We all have our bad days, but those days are always followed with great ones. We need to stop comparing ourselves to the other moms out there and finally realize the one rule to being a great mom. Nothing compares to you. You are an amazing mom in your own corky ways. Let’s embrace the moms we are. Let’s grow from mistakes and enhance our inner strength.
Our hearts beat for our kids and it’s okay that we don’t always have make up on. It’s okay that we have our stretch marks. It’s okay that we don’t look like we did when we were 20 years old. And it’s definitely okay to make non-organic chicken nuggets and mac n’ cheese for dinner some nights. We all have those traits in us that our kids love or get annoyed with some days. But none of us are less of a mom than any other mom out there.
We’re all rockstar moms so let the music play and never stop!