Not Perfect and Liking It

I don’t know about you, but when it comes to my figure, I have always been self-conscious. When I was growing up, I was told that I was too tall at 5’10” and I was too thin. I was called Jo-Anorexic. So, I literally couldn’t win with the boys. I was too tall, too thin and my freckles were like a skin disease to the other kids. Oh, and don’t get me started on the perm I forced my mom to give me. I was a catch.

Once I got older, met my husband and had two kids, I found it so hard to have the extra weight fall off. I couldn’t look in the mirror and be happy with what I saw. I just looked at myself and said, “You’re a catch. Not!” With all that self-hate, I forgot who I was. I was so focused on making sure I was the definition of “perfect” that I lost my ability to be…me. It also didn’t help when I compared myself to other moms. They always seemed to have it all together and look beautiful doing it. When it came to me, they were lucky I even brushed my hair and teeth. Then one day, my son, Noah asked if I had a baby in my belly because I was looking fat. It was then that I realized, I was far past comfy and lazy. I was now fluffy. When my kids, who are the most honest people in my life, wondered if I was carrying another human being because of my fluff, I had to rethink my life style. That’s exactly what I did, but while doing that, I started to wonder. Am I working out and putting myself on this diet for me or for society? Society requires perfection and I decided that I was going to win this battle of what’s perfect and what’s not.

The truth is, there is no such thing as perfect. Society or even the harsh people in our lives make it impossible to tackle the requirements set by them. What we have to do is realize that we are who we are. We just have to be us. I am changing my diet and lifestyle not to be “perfect”, but to be a healthy mom for my kids. How can I teach them a healthy lifestyle and to also except who they are, if I’m not?

When we look in the mirror, let’s like what we see for once. And if we are thinking that we should get healthier, then let’s do it for us. Not for the requirements set by people who don’t know us well enough or at all. The real beauty we contain is inside us. Our hearts and our minds. Our characters are who define us. My height and my freckles just are my shell. And luckily my perm grew out and has never been reapplied.

It’s time we except who we are and welcome any changes that may come. Do not allow anyone else the power to define you. If you have people in your life that only see what they think are flaws and aren’t getting to know the real you, then they don’t deserve to know the real you. Life gives us obstacles and not liking who we are doesn’t help us overcome those obstacles. We all have beauty in our own ways. Let’s have our beauty shine and take over our self-hate. If you have trouble seeing your beauty, remember this. You are you. There is only one of you in this entire world. Embrace that and never let it go. Be proud of you and who you are. Kick to the curb anyone who thinks differently.

It’s time to welcome who we are. So let’s bring out the welcome mat.

One Step Forward

Hello Everyone!

My name is Joei and welcome to my blog. I have to be honest. Starting a blog and sharing my writing with you all has always been a dream of mine, but also a fear of mine. I am use to watching people live out their dreams and succeed. I’m the girl in the stands, cheering you on instead of being the one on the stage.  I’m the girl that sits at home, writes her feelings down, clicks SAVE and then closes my laptop to never allow my dreams to come true. I have tried to create a blog site for years and I never could follow through with it. After having hard times in my life with bullying and being told every day that I wasn’t good enough or worth it, I have finally had enough. I look at my kids, Noah, 7 and Ellie, 4 and I know they look up to me. How can I teach them to believe in themselves, follow their dreams and never give up if I don’t listen to those words myself? I hate the feeling of WHAT IF. I don’t want to ever ask myself, “What if I followed my dreams? Where would my life be right now?” So I took that one step forward and I am going after what I want…FINALLY.

It is so easy to listen to the harsh words, see the bad looks and get use to watching people turn their back to you. With all of that, it’s almost impossible to listen to anything positive and believe that anyone could ever believe in you. Enough back stabs can cause you to become numb to the pain because it’s all you’ve been feeling lately. So when you have someone who actually has your back, there are times when you can’t even feel them there. It’s hard to do the one thing that you need to do with not only the ones who love you, but yourself…trust. Trust in yourself that you have the capability to soar and trust that the ones who do love you and have your back won’t let you down. It’s okay to get rid of the toxic people in your life too. I use to be the one who gave everyone the benefit of the doubt and no matter how many times they hurt me, betrayed me or let me down, I forgave them. That caused my confidence to fade so much, it almost disappeared.

Now, more than ever, it’s time we all take that one step forward to get going on our new adventures and take the other step forward to keep going. Never stop. Never allow yourself to fade in the mist of self doubt or being bullied. Stand up tall and believe that this ride may be bumpy, but amazing at the same time. Is there a chance that your dreams may not turn out the way you hoped? Yes, but at least you can say that you tried. That also means that you were on the wrong path and your new journey that is meant to be is on a new path.

So here’s to us. The ones that are taking the step forward and not backing down. Cheers to our inner strength that we thought was gone. It was never gone. It was just waiting for us to get off our butts and tackle our dreams. Let’s be on this bumpy, yet amazing ride together and fly to every destination of our goals.

Life is too short. It’s time to take that step forward…now.